It's Friday and it has been a whopper. Just when I think I have this fear thing licked it rears its ugly head (or swishes its ponytail, whatever) at me.
The past two days have been filled with scary steps. I have noticed that I am taking them more easily now, feeling the fear, acknowledging it and then doing what has to be done.
I spend a lot of time wondering this week was I was so afraid to sit down and write, something kept pulling me away from the computer even as ideas and dreams of my novel filled my head. "What is going on here." I finally decided (about an hour ago) WHO CARES? Stop trying to over analyze and just sit your ass down and write something. So I did. I purchased some novel writing software (is that cheating, set it up on my computer and set up my novel. Go me.
I also went on my first interview in two years and realized that I could start the job tomorrow and do it well. Who knew?
In order to prep for this interview I had to send emails asking for references. I still can't believe that everybody I contacted was so sweet and agreed to speak on my behalf.
The last scary thing I did was put on a pair of real shoes for my interview. It didn't go well. They made me limp and hurt my toe, but I think part of it is from when I stubbed it on Monday. At least I can walk with no problems in the boot!
So for TGI Friday:
I am again trusting in the process. That I will end up where I belong.
I am grateful for all the wonderful, smart, strong powerful women who have taught me and so quickly stepped up to speak for me.
I am inspired by my Blogging From the Hearters! They have kept our group going even after the class ended! I love having a place to go and call home. Thanks, Ladies.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
TGI Friday
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. Albert Schweitzer
It's been a rough week. I'm on the medical treadmill, a hamster running on its wheel after test and more tests and trying to decide the appropriate referrals. In the midst off all of this, I think TGI Friday is imperative! Today I am: Trusting that everything will be okay. If it isn't okay, it's not over. Grateful to have found doctors who are also healers. Inspired by the little voice inside that tells me if I would just "trust my instincts/close my eyes/and leap" I would defy gravity.
I'd love to hear what are you trusting, grateful, and inspired by. Please post in the comments below and share your own story.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Rainy Days & Mondays
I'm feeling down, rainy days and Mondays and all of that. I'm going to listen to the song though, remember that this feeling has come and -more importantly- gone before, so I will run to those who love me and hope for a sunny Tuesday.
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Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Friday, April 13, 2012
It's TGI Friday!
TGI Friday is here!
Today I am:
Trusting in the process. The process of developing my online persona. The process of healing. The process of discovering my passion and purpose, whether it be in social work, writing, photography other creative arts or all of the above
Grateful for the lovely Susannah Conway A year ago I had never picked up a camera or even considered opening myself up to my creative side. All I knew is that there was something inside that was unexpressed and needing to come out. With a year of her gentle teaching I have fallen in love with photography, set up a website, and hope to follow the creative trail she has so lovingly inspired and forged for me. Thank you sweet Susannah.
Inspired by my fellow bloggers in Blogging from the Heart. I hope we continue this journey together and I can't wait to show you what new projects I create and see what new roads you trail blaze! Please, let's stick together. I need you!
Today I am:
Trusting in the process. The process of developing my online persona. The process of healing. The process of discovering my passion and purpose, whether it be in social work, writing, photography other creative arts or all of the above
Grateful for the lovely Susannah Conway A year ago I had never picked up a camera or even considered opening myself up to my creative side. All I knew is that there was something inside that was unexpressed and needing to come out. With a year of her gentle teaching I have fallen in love with photography, set up a website, and hope to follow the creative trail she has so lovingly inspired and forged for me. Thank you sweet Susannah.
Inspired by my fellow bloggers in Blogging from the Heart. I hope we continue this journey together and I can't wait to show you what new projects I create and see what new roads you trail blaze! Please, let's stick together. I need you!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah
"Don't ask other people permission to do what you are directed to do" Bishop TD Jakes
I have a cheerleader that lives inside of my head. Not the "rah, rah- you can do this!!" kind but the nasty, mean-girl kind. Think Santana from Glee or any of the Heathers. Yeah, that one. The one who holds court in the high-school cafeteria, her blond hair in a perfect ponytail, passing judgement on every girl who walks by with a sneer, a laugh, and an eye roll. The one most girls aspired to be and hated.
She's been taking up space in my head for as long as I can remember. She doesn't say much. Just sits there in her perky cheerleader uniform swishing her ponytail pointing and laughing at me, especially when I get an idea in my head.
She thinks it is utterly ridiculous that I bought my own website domain because I would like to have a place to showcase my writing and photos. (She is almost doubled over now with laughter now, tears beginning to run down her face.)
She is the one who keeps me quiet, who keeps me from trying, who keeps me from telling anyone I want to start a four week on-line class using creativity, meditation and movement to help women reconnect with themselves. Yes, eventually I would charge people. Hear that? That is her laughing. Who would pay you money to tell them anything? No one would listen to you.
This should really kill her. I want to right a novel. It is called One Sweet Love and is about love, loneliness and the lengths we will go to to find and keep connection. I have had it rolling around in my head for over a decade, but whenever I reach for it and try to bring it out, my cheerleader points and laughs, what are you doing? Put that down! Who do you think you are? Jennifer Weiner, Jodi Picoult?
She is the one I always ask permission to do what I feel directed to do. But why?
Why am I asking permission from a voice that is so determined to silence me, and why am I asking permission. At. All.
That internal laughter and negative voices we all hear can be devastating to our creativity. They can silence us until we forget that we ever could speak, or even ever had anything to say. I've had this cheerleader laughing at me for so long that I couldn't believe that I had anything to say that was worth hearing. The first step is identifying that voice, whether it is a cheerleader, your
So now you know. I have a website. Eventually I am going to offer and online course, and I am writing a novel. And I'm not asking permission.
Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah
I have a cheerleader that lives inside of my head. Not the "rah, rah- you can do this!!" kind but the nasty, mean-girl kind. Think Santana from Glee or any of the Heathers. Yeah, that one. The one who holds court in the high-school cafeteria, her blond hair in a perfect ponytail, passing judgement on every girl who walks by with a sneer, a laugh, and an eye roll. The one most girls aspired to be and hated.
She's been taking up space in my head for as long as I can remember. She doesn't say much. Just sits there in her perky cheerleader uniform swishing her ponytail pointing and laughing at me, especially when I get an idea in my head.
She thinks it is utterly ridiculous that I bought my own website domain because I would like to have a place to showcase my writing and photos. (She is almost doubled over now with laughter now, tears beginning to run down her face.)
She is the one who keeps me quiet, who keeps me from trying, who keeps me from telling anyone I want to start a four week on-line class using creativity, meditation and movement to help women reconnect with themselves. Yes, eventually I would charge people. Hear that? That is her laughing. Who would pay you money to tell them anything? No one would listen to you.
This should really kill her. I want to right a novel. It is called One Sweet Love and is about love, loneliness and the lengths we will go to to find and keep connection. I have had it rolling around in my head for over a decade, but whenever I reach for it and try to bring it out, my cheerleader points and laughs, what are you doing? Put that down! Who do you think you are? Jennifer Weiner, Jodi Picoult?
She is the one I always ask permission to do what I feel directed to do. But why?
Why am I asking permission from a voice that is so determined to silence me, and why am I asking permission. At. All.
That internal laughter and negative voices we all hear can be devastating to our creativity. They can silence us until we forget that we ever could speak, or even ever had anything to say. I've had this cheerleader laughing at me for so long that I couldn't believe that I had anything to say that was worth hearing. The first step is identifying that voice, whether it is a cheerleader, your
So now you know. I have a website. Eventually I am going to offer and online course, and I am writing a novel. And I'm not asking permission.
Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah
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