Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah

"Don't ask other people permission to do what you are directed to do" Bishop TD Jakes

I have a cheerleader that lives inside of my head. Not the "rah, rah- you can do this!!" kind but the nasty, mean-girl kind. Think Santana from Glee or any of the Heathers. Yeah, that one. The one who holds court in the high-school cafeteria, her blond hair in a perfect ponytail, passing judgement on every girl who walks by with a sneer, a laugh, and an eye roll. The one most girls aspired to be and hated.

She's been taking up space in my head for as long as I can remember. She doesn't say much. Just sits there in her perky cheerleader uniform swishing her ponytail pointing and laughing at me, especially when I get an idea in my head.

She thinks it is utterly ridiculous that I bought my own website domain because I  would like to have a place to showcase my writing and photos. (She is almost doubled over now with laughter now, tears beginning to run down her face.)

She is the one who keeps me quiet, who keeps me from trying, who keeps me from telling anyone I want to start a four week on-line class using creativity, meditation and movement to help women reconnect with themselves. Yes, eventually I would charge people. Hear that? That is her laughing. Who would pay you money to tell them anything? No one would listen to you.

This should really kill her. I want to right a novel. It is called One Sweet Love and is about love, loneliness and the lengths we will go to to find and keep connection. I have had it rolling around in my head for over a decade, but whenever I reach for it and try to bring it out, my cheerleader points and laughs, what are you doing? Put that down! Who do you think you are? Jennifer Weiner, Jodi Picoult?

She is the one I always ask permission to do what I feel directed to do.  But why?

Why am I asking permission from a voice that is so determined to silence me, and why am I asking permission. At. All.


That internal laughter and negative voices we all hear can be devastating to our creativity. They can silence us until we forget that we ever could speak, or even ever had anything to say.  I've had this cheerleader laughing at me for so long that I couldn't believe that I had anything to say that was worth hearing. The first step is identifying that voice, whether it is a cheerleader, your
So now you know. I have a website. Eventually I am going to offer and online course, and I am writing a novel. And I'm not asking permission.

Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah